Scene 9

SETTING:  We’re back in the hallway of St. James the Lesser Catholic School.  The water fountain is center stage.

AT RISE:  The class is on its way to the gym, pausing to get a drink.  The students form a line with KITES right in front of TOMMY who is right in front of STANLEY.  There are several others behind STANLEY (not ELBOWS, of course)

KITES

(To TOMMY)

I've seen a lot of nuns go crazy, but never like that.  Wasn't that fantastic?

(Loudly)

Hey! Come on, save some for the rest of us.

(STUDENT stops drinking and EXITS.  Another one drinks.)

TOMMY

Elbows is gonna be hung up by his thumbs.  He might not even get to the fart lighting tonight.  Poor guy.

(HANK ENTERS unnoticed by TOMMY and KITES.  Seeing TOMMY, HANK starts to make HIS way past the smaller and unresisting students in front of HIM in line.)

KITES

(To TOMMY)

The littlest things set that nun off into madness.

(Loudly)

You gonna drink the whole Mississippi?

(STUDENT stops drinking and EXITS.  Another one drinks)

STANLEY

He deserved it and you know it.

KITES

(Over HIS shoulder to TOMMY)

I think Mr. Suck-Up behind you is asking to be crumped to sopranoville.  Your mission is clear, soldier.  Apply quick and deadly force.

(Loudly, to students ahead of HIM in line)

Let's go up there!

(Over HIS shoulder to TOMMY, urgently)

Do it.  Do it!

(TOMMY doesn't realize that HANK has now moved right behind HIM in line and is intent on revenge.  Thinking that it's STANLEY next to HIM, TOMMY'S pent up anger results in a very hard crump being delivered to HANK instead.  HANK groans loudly and doubles over in pain)

STANLEY

(Yelling)

Run for your lives!