ACT I
Scene 6
SETTING: Outside - on the way back to school.
AT RISE: TOMMY, who is wearing unbuckled galoshes, meets up with ELBOWS,
who is wearing tennis shoes. THEY walk back to school after lunch.
ELBOWS
(Giving TOMMY a playful shove)
Hey, dingleberry. Another great day in school, eh? I heard
around school that Hank the Tank is fixin' to rearrange your face. Why for?
TOMMY
Remember what
I told ya happened at Mass this morning?
ELBOWS
Oh, yeah, yeah. What a moron. Know what I'd do? Go on the offensive. A sneak attack whack;
crump 'im.
(Tries to crump TOMMY)
TOMMY
Hey, cut it out!
ELBOWS
Just keeping
ya on your toes, brainless. Eh, did I happen to tell ya what I been doin' to
Wanda Farney?
TOMMY
(Walking to school)
Yeah, yeah. You better cut that stuff out. It's a
mortal sin to gain carnal knowledge of a woman. You're supposed to be married
and have a good job first. If you died right now you would go straight to hell.
ELBOWS
So? If I was dead - I couldn't feel the fire anyway.
TOMMY
You remember
what St.
Augustine went through just for stealing an apple? He
was in agony for days - thinking about what he'd done.
ELBOWS
But he was a
saint, right? I'm not going to be a saint.
I'm going to be a pharmacist. Hey, this oughta brighten your day. See that guy putting on shingles? I'll
betcha I can hit him from here.
(ELBOWS
scoops up some snow and packs it into a snowball)
TOMMY
You know Father
Grundy said not to throw snowballs on the way or going home from school.
That would reflect badly on everybody at St. James the Lesser. Besides,
it would be stupid in the broad daylight. That guy looks mean.
ELBOWS
What's the matter,
getting chicken in your old age?
